Happy Robbie Burns Day

Address To a Haggis

Published on January 25, 2005 By Contrary Cal In Life Journals

In Scotland, every January 25, they celebrate the birthday of their
national poet - Robbie Burns Day! A special pudding is served
called Haggis which has been cooked inside a sheep's stomach.

While the haggis is ready to be served, a man marches into the
dining room playing a bagpipe. Behind him comes another man,
elegantly carrying the haggis on a tray. The appearance of the famed
pudding causes the crowd to cheer and the "Address to a Haggis" is recited.

Address To a Haggis - 1786

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!
---------------------------------

So Don your kilt and sporran, and raise your Scotch to toast the legendary Burns!

Just thought I'd put the Resourceful / Creative crap at the beginning this time.
Now I can proceed at a leisurely pace to bore you to death with mindless drivel.
YEAH!!!

I decided to check my messages today and discovered 3 (count em), 3 HB
songs from 1 friend and 2 family members. I hope they don't decided to
try their luck on American / Canadian Idol. (Don't quit your day jobs people!)

And you'll never guess what I made today? (I'm definately on the mend)
I'm serious. Really. Guess. I mean it. Guess damn you!

OK, OK, spoil sport...I'll tell you anyway, seeing as I'm such a nice person

I made maple flavoured syrup. {Hear that Jimmers...Yours is all ready!}
See...I really am a nice person, cussing aside. Oh yeah, I did something
else today that I wanted to tell ya'll about. Hmmmm....what was that????
Dishes? no. Wash? no. Sweeping? no. Well, that's not to say that I
DIDN'T do those things...I did...I'm not a total slob ya know. But that
wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about.

I can't remember what I wanted to talk to you about because that was
this morning when I thought about it, and now it's almost tomorrow
and I want to finish this before midnight today. Which means I don't
have time anymore to sit here and think about something that really
isn't important. Or at least it's not important enough for me to
remember.

Funny thing about this strange little "seniors moment"...Jen was
just asking me about an hour ago, if alheizmers is hereditary. I
said no just to ease her mind. Otherwise she might worry about
things to come, especially watching me over the last few months!

Bye for now my beautiful, handsome, wonderful, sweet fans!
I've gotta go do some memory enhancement exercises.

C U and I still love ya'll - ya bunch of blimy rugrats

Cal

P.S. - I can't believe I forgot my donation button (Sheesh...Seniors Moment hardly half describes it!) I HAVE to remedy that oversite toute suite. For anyone who wants to make a donation to help in the ongoing and never ending introspection of why I keep forgetting stuff, just make your donation by clicking the following button. P.P.S. - I love that button!

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