And All You Winter Sports Fans - Just Shut Up wouldya...
Winter In Canada Sucks...especially if you don't snowboard, ski, skate,
sled, play hockey...blah, blah, blah....I DO skate, rather poorly I might add,
but this winter I've been just too darn lazy to care. Must be the aging thing
...but I'm quite content to sit on my Fat Ass and just play on the computer
all day. (heh heh...not really, but I really wanted to say "Fat Ass"...it's such
a delightful way to self-deprecate oneself without being too crass and hard
on yourself. You can still get up from the keyboard, stretch, scratch & yawn
and still feel pretty good about yourself because Fat Ass isn't TOO bad of
an insult if you Don't have a really big Fat Ass - which I don't...right Jim?
{heh heh heh - baiting my baby - bad Cal...bad, bad Cal...}
Anyway....seeing as Winter is getting really OLD - Fast, I'm going to have a
little contest on my Blog to see Who can guess how many snowstorms
we'll get in the month of February. Remember...February can be a very
unpredictable month, weather wise. I remember Februarys where it
seemed like it never Stopped snowing - to ones where the big accumulation
of the month was like 15cm in total! Don't know what the prize will be yet
...but you'll have to post your guess in the comment section of this Blog.
I'll track the number of snowstorms we have here in Southern NB...and
award a prize. Oh...I'm not talking about the number of snowstorms in
CANADA - Noooooo....I'm talking about the number right here in MY neck
of the woods. Did you forget that this blog is all about ME - MYSELF - I - MOI?
....heh heh heh...evil laughter ensues, yet again...heh heh heh.....
As I said...I don't know what the prize will be, but you can be assured it
will be something really stupid and meaningless. And it will have to be
something I can send you over the Internet, unless of course the winner
is someone that I'll see in person, like my family, friends, and/or Jimarooney.
In that case, the prize might be something Not so stupid - especially if
it's Jimarooney who guesses right. All right, all right,,,,I won't rig the results,
even though that would be sooo much fun. I'll give my family and friends a
crappy prize too. There...Happy?? Ya foiled my evil contest rigging intentions
...I can hear you out there...I know what yer thinkin, ya blimey bunch of
tree rats. I hear ya thinking..."hey that's not fair...WE should get as good a
prize as the Family & Friends get...Waaaaaaaaaa......"See - right wasn't I ?
{Mutters in the style of Yosemite Sam... #@$%!!@$&*!!!}
OK...Onto bigger, better and brighter things......
I mentioned in my VERY Controversial Blog yesterday, that Jenn is going on
a trip to Ottawa with her Jazz Band. They have to raise a fair bit of moolah
before May, so I announced in yesterdays article that I'm going to actually
put my "Gag PayPal" button to good use. If you read my other blogs, you'll
see that I was shamelessly soliciting donations for various bogus causes
to see who I could sucker into giving me 2 measly bucks. Well, I have decided
to suspend the bogus causes in favour of shamelessly soliciting donations
for my daughters Jazz Band trip, which is in fact planning fundraisers as we
speak. Read yesterdays Blog to get more details on the trip, etc., etc., etc.
By the way...the Jazz Band doesn't know I'm doing this for them...
I want to try to raise $1200 to help them all pay for their meals
while they are gone..(20 students x $15p/d x 4 days =$1200)
I'll keep you posted on how we're doing. I'll put the links at the
bottom of each blog from here on in but make mention of it
somewhere in the blog. If you have a kind heart, you can forward
the link to this blog to all your other kind hearted family and
friends who might get a kick out of reading some sillyness and
helping out!
Here are the Donation buttons you can choose from:
$2.00 Donation
$5.00 donation
$10.00 Donation
$20.00 Donation
Jenn thanks you from the bottom of her heart, the band
unbeknownst to them, thank you from the bottom of
their hearts (all 20 of them)...and I, Contrary as I may
be, I thank you from the bottom of my heart too!
AlllllRightyThen..... Now here is your Creative resource
for the Blog Day....A Warning to All Men....
----------------------------------------------------------
Importance: High
Beware..
I received this con alert from a friend of mine today and thought you
should read it. This warning targets nightlife in Canada but is probably
a useful warning for men anywhere in the world.
I am ashamed to say that I have been victimized by this con in the past
and never seem to learn from the experience.
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, party-goers and
unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when
offered a drink from any woman.
A date rape drug on the market called "beer" is used by many females
to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form
and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from
taps and in large "kegs."
"Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to
persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.
Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few
units of "beer" and then simply ask him home for no strings attached
sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several
"beers" men will often succumb to desires to perform several sexual
acts on women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After
drinking "beer" men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly
what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling
that something bad occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's
savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." It has been
reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd
enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of
servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage. "Apparently,
men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is
administered and sex is offered by the predatory female.
Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. However,
if someone you know has fallen victim to this insidious "beer" and
the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups
with venues in every town where they can discuss the details of their
shocking encounters in an open and frank manner with similarly
affected, like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you, just look
up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.
-----------------------------
There, have I blathered on enough already? Are you ready for
me to shut up and leave? Well...just one more thing...
My oldest son Andrew is here visiting me today...his birthday
was yesterday - he turned 19. He's of legal drinking age now.
He can also buy lottery tickets. He just informed me that
Lotto 649 is 15 Million and Super7 is 19 Million and that HE's
going to win them both. He said he's "pretty sure" he's going
to win, anyway. {I better warn him about "beer", in that case}
Hmmmm....His cold has either gone totally to his head, or he's
been checking out the Legion bar already. I just asked him
"So when you win, how much are you gonna give me?"
His answer? "I don't know...I'll figure something out." HUH?
What's with that? I'll just have to remind him of all the poopy
diapers of his that I changed, and all the snotty noses of his,
that I've cleaned, and all the yummy meals he's eaten that I've
cooked for him. And the fact that I gave him life. Think that'll
work? heh heh heh.
Well...folks....I've gotta go do some actual work now. I mean,
some physical work...cause using your brain to write incredibly
magnificent pieces of literary prose is Work too. Well, this
isn't really prose...but it's close...eh?
I still love y'all, you incredibly intelligent, thoughtful, creative
bunch of anarchists. Till we meet again....
Ciou
Cal